Mon dieu, honey! Céline Dion debuted a new lewk in Paris this week and it is a lot. It's une petite peu too much, as they say. It's le WTF deluxe and it's perfect.
Fashion icon and part-time Minion, your fave Céline Dion showed up in the streets of Paris rocking faux-leather Givenchy overalls and Kanye West x Giuseppe Zanotti heels and it was actually everything. It's that thing where you combine every look you can think of and let God sort it out.
I'm obsessed with this because I have eyes. She is stomping around the City of Lights looking like a Glamour Goth Mario Brother and I want to know why!
This is that thing where you have to be at the Met Ball at 7 and the cranberry bog at 9.
This is that thing where you're a huge fan of Kriss Kross but wish they were a little bit more post-apocalyptic.
This is that thing where you're an international superstar by day and a Florida-based serial killer by night. (P.S. Hollywood, please let me know if you would like me to send you that pilot.)
Never one to be satisfied with flawless fashion perfection every time she leaves the house, Céline is constantly une-upping herself. But this lewk is just beyond. It's almost... practical. It almost... makes sense? Am I broken? Has she broken me? Will my heart go on?
Where was I? Oh, it's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now. This lewk is moments of goth and flashes of light. This lewk is things we'd never do again but then they'd always seemed right. This lewk is nights of endless pleasure, if your particular fetish is a Tom of Finland calendar but with every guy replaced by Céline Dion.
WHO WOULDN'T WANT THAT CALENDAR?
This lewk is my new everything. But, avec le respect, I do have some concerns. For instance, how warm it is inside this outfit right now?
It's summer in Paris and she is walking in sous vide pants. Why? For what purpose?
I think it's the clear that the answers to those questions are "Fashion" and "For our eternal delight."
It's also clear that she's doing it for her own delight. Have you ever seen someone so excited to be mixing 90s mainstream fashion with 90s club kid fashion? This lewk is like is Party Girl and Party Monster had a baby and that baby was the Greatest Singer in the World.
I also love that she is carrying une petite Pop Tart with her. Yes, Céline! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! You better get those early morning calories, chile, because you're going to be sweating them off all day long.
And, honey, that sweat is fashion.
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