If what Page Six reports is true, Donald Trump Jr. and his wife, Vanessa, are headed for divorce. According to "multiple sources," the couple are in Struggletown and could "file soon."
Donald Jr. runs the Trump Organization with his brother, Eric. Of his wife, who is a "psychology graduate," one source said, "Vanessa is a devoted mother, but she is increasingly lonely and alone in the house with the children."
Not long after this news broke, The Cut writer Allie Jones uncovered an old International Herald Tribune interview with Trump Jr., which detailed the intimate party where the couple announced they were expecting their first child. It contained a surprising tidbit about how the then-blissful couple met:
Amazingly, every person in this anecdote is angling for the title of "The Worst." Vanessa's choice to use a slur to express herself clearly leads the pack, but there's so much more terrible to go around.
You know that thing where you decide somebody is the devil incarnate because you were introduced to them like 9 seconds ago but they've already forgotten who you are? Well, Donald Trump, #45, Burnished Wig-Stand, did that to his future daughter-in-law. The worst, right? And then, six weeks later, Vanessa did it back to li'l Donnie. Not only that, but she also only figured out who he was—after a whole hour because his father, the future Pr*sid*nt of the United States, made such a terrible impression.
Where is the horribly heterosexual rom-com in which the two main characters' first encounter is described as "awkward" and "brief," and somehow involves the guy's dad, whom the woman later describes using an ableist slur? Wow wow wow. Studio executives, come at me! I've got the next When Harry Met Sally, except it's called When Donald Trump Jr. Met Vanessa and It Was No Bueno.
I can't wait for that movie to get made, bomb ignominiously, and make Hollywood honchos—and the world at large—decide that nobody ever wants to see that story play out ever again!!!
For extra credit, some other gems from the article:
- Donald Jr. had a friend called Dee Dee Sides (to be played by Joan Cusack in the movie).
- Ivanka Trump used to date Topher Grace (to be played by Topher Grace in the movie)
- Vanessa was a model from childhood (to be played by a small child who is good at looking somehow sad about her future).
- Donald Jr. received a free engagement ring from a jeweler at a New Jersey mall in exchange for publicly announcing his engagement there (I'll accept self-tapes from jewelers, in exchange for items priced at $15,000 and up).
The more you know!
