You know that thing where a friend goes through a breakup and all of the sudden all of their Instagram stories are gym selfies and thirsty bathroom mirror posts captioned "Feeling cute. Might delete later."?
Well, I regret to draw your attention to this:
In an Insta posted around 7 am, Donald J. Trump, Jr., officially announced that, following the dissolution of his marriage, he has reached the fourth stage of a breakup: "Tryna bang."
For reference the stages of a breakup are: Wine, Whine, Shouting Woo-Hoo at the Club, and Tryna Bang. Congratulations to DJTJr for almost completing the healing journey!
Attention all of DJTJr's exes (cough, Aubrey O'Day, cough): please prepare to receive random Facebook pokes at regular intervals throughout the next few weeks. Additionally, expect DJTJr to like an Insta of you on vacation roughly 43 weeks ago, to comment "Looks good can I have some 😉" on a photo of a meal you had in 2015, and to randomly run into you at the karaoke show you host.
This new development comes just over a year to the day after DJTJr's infamous New York Times profile in which he was photographed looking like the Boy in the Bubble on his first day in the real world.
So happy for Donald J. Trump, Jr. that he can now use these photos to complete the most awkward Tinder profile that anyone has ever seen.
Good luck, world; DJTJr is back on the market and that market is giving you a Memorial Day sale on everything that you never wanted! Get it while it's lukewarm!
